In wishing her sister a joyous day after her birthday, we confirm that spacing is important: Happy after birthday easily becomes happy afterbirth day.
Is there something she should know?
She meant to wish her sister a happy day after her birthday. She said, “Happy Afterlife.”
Shit got real
Last night I was talking up a cute woman. Bright eyes. Pixie cut blond hair. Turns out she’s 10 years younger; a chronological difference about which she didn’t care. We started talking because she was the only one in her group of friends who recognized Kurtis Blow’s “These are the Breaks” rockin from the bar’s speakers. She said, “You’re cute. Come outside with me.”
We talked about ourselves a bit. In a similar situation, answering “how old are your kids?” with “they’re teenagers,” leads to some sympathetic statements regarding the struggle of a man with teenage daughters. I said, “Until tonight, i had 2 teens. My oldest just turned 20, 2 hours ago.” One brow raised higher than the other. She said, “Oh. I need to catch up with my friends. Nice meeting you.”
"Stays fresh for 2 weeks" is a damned lie, Snuggle.
I washed my clothes with your fabric softener. I’ve been wearing these drawers for 2 weeks, and they DO NOT smell fresh anymore!
Describe me in one word anon or not?
I wanna play. This should be interesting.
Sure, I’ll jump on the train. Being productive is for assholes.
You guys… my baby girl is going to be TWENTY at midnight!!!